


Is There Somewhere

by Florence930



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, OOC, an old fic, au/human, ffn crosspost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florence930/pseuds/Florence930
Summary: Everyone around her is getting married.Everything is changing.Except for the one constant who's always been there for her.-Four Weddings and a Funeral Inspired-***((This was first published February 2017 on ffn))***
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Malachai "Kai" Parker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	Is There Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> *just slowly moving my fics around*
> 
> (was inspired by a gorgeous fic by mmtion)

* * *

13 years ago

"Really? Bonnie?"

"What's wrong with Bonnie?"

Bonnie poked her head around the corner to see Kai and Stefan sitting next each other on the floor of Kai's bedroom, their Gameboys set aside and their Zelda game loading. Oh good, they're playing it already. That's why Bonnie came over in the first place.

"Nothing wrong with Bonnie," Stefan said, probably noting the warning in Kai's voice. _"_ She's nice." What the heck are they talking about?

"Yeah," Bonnie walked into the room, "it's loaded. Wanna go first?"

"Can I go first?" Bonnie asked as she sat down next to Kai. Both boys swung their heads in Bonnie's direction, she smiled, "Jo let me in."

Curiously, Kai's pale cheeks tinged pink as he turned back to the T.V.

"Sure," he shrugged, handing her the controller.

"Thanks," she pressed play, "so what were you guys talking about?"

Stefan eyes widened, fiddling with his baseball cap as he looked at Kai.

"I heard my name."

"Umm," Kai cleared his throat, "we were...talking, umm, about...who should be class president this year and we thought you'd make a good candidate." He elbowed Stefan's side who nodded quickly.

Bonnie smiled, "Aww guys. Thanks." Her eyes on the T.V, in complete game mode. "You're sweet."

She didn't see the two looks the relieved teenagers gave each other.

* * *

_"Admit it. You miss me, Bonnie."_

"Nope," Bonnie said as she closed up the bakery for the night. Phone tucked under the crook of her neck as she smiled at another employee in passing. "I'm just calling if you know where the art gallery is?"

Kai chuckled on the other line and Bonnie smiled on reflex at the sound, _"You do realize I've lived in Mystic Falls for a good chunk of my life, you were there for a lot of it."_

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "it's a small gallery that's hidden behind other buildings. I thought you'd get lost, sue me."

_"Nah, you just wanted to hear my voice."_

"I'm hanging up now," Bonnie deadpanned. "I'm having dinner with grams."

_"Tell Sheila I said hi."_

"She hates you."

_"Didn't know you were a liar,"_ he said with amusement _._

"I'll see you in a week."

_"Alright, see you and Bonnie...I miss you."_

Bonnie nearly had a misstep when she walked down a few stairs leading in an alleyway. A short cut to her place. "Whatever, bye."

_"Bye, Bonster."_

* * *

_**Wedding no. 1: Elena Gilbert and Stefan Salvatore** _

Bonnie groaned into her pillow. The sound enveloping her room was getting progressively louder, she looked up and scrunched up her face to see her phone on the other end of the room, her alarm blaring.

"Oh crap," she moaned, throwing the duvet over and hopping out of bed. She checked her phone, eyes widening, "oh crap."

The fatigue of just waking up threw her a little bit as she wobbled towards her closet and pulled out her bridesmaid dress and yanked the plastic covering off. Bonnie's face scrunch up when she looked down at her dress; a knee length, frilly olive dress.

Elena did a total recall on all the bridesmaids dresses three days ago, apparently, Elena saw a picture amongst her mother's wedding day photos and had a bit of a freak out. " _Those dresses are exactly the same_ ," Elena told her on the phone in a frenzy, " _I can't have my bridesmaids and my mom's bridesmaids look alike. I just can't_."

Bonnie understood but it was a shame since the previous dress looked elegant while the dress Bonnie couldn't help glaring at looked like something you'd where to prom in the eighties.

She checked her phone again and swore. She grabbed her makeup and ran to the bathroom. She's never usually this late but she blames Caroline for forcing her to go out after Bonnie and her boyfriend called it quits after three years. Which in normal circumstances she would not be averse to, however, going clubbing and being hungover on your best friend's wedding was the wrong call.

Her phone started to ring, she looked down and rolled her eyes. She put her phone on speaker. "I hate you," Bonnie muttered as she hurriedly dabbed concealer under her dark circles.

" _Nah, you love me_ ," Caroline's voice echoed, bright and chipper. How? Bonnie rolled her eyes again but without much heat behind it now. " _Where are you though_?"

"I'm getting ready and I would have been up a lot earlier if it wasn't for you and your peer pressure," Bonnie cringed at her eye liner, "Jesus," she whispered.

" _Excuses, I was up two hours ago and I feel fine. I'll_ _probably crash later on but right now it's all good. Just drink a lot of coffee_."

Bonnie huffed at her makeup, she scrubbed all her eye liner off and decided just to apply mascara instead, "right. I'm hanging up now. I'll you see later."

" _Fine but you have to be here in thirty minutes_." Bonnie gaped at the phone but Caroline already hung up.

After that became a blur, she hoped she looked at least a bit presentable as she locked her front door. She threw on her long, black coat and walked towards her destination; a small, quaint art gallery. It was an interesting venue to hold a wedding but Elena has always been a romantic of sorts especially when it came to her fiancé, Stefan. It was where they first met. They were both seven years old, their mothers bonded and became friends through their interest in art so Elena's and Stefan's love story didn't start there but it was still a very sentimental idea. Bonnie was glad that the art gallery was a ten-minute walk away; benefits of living in a small town.

Bonnie was little out of breath as she made it to the art gallery, all up hill and in heels. She walked around the building and up some steps to the back entrance, only used for employees. Bonnie smiled when she opened the door to see peonies decorated along the oak archways. She couldn't enjoy the scene for very long when she felt Caroline's hand grasp her arm and pull to a hallway and into the room where no doubt Elena would be.

"Elena," Bonnie gasped as she looked at her friend donned in white lace and silk. "Woah, you look hot."

"Really?" Elena smiled, biting her top lip to keep from grinning, "it's not too much?"

Bonnie shook her head, "absolutely not."

"Stop ruining your lipstick, Elena." Caroline snapped, pointing at her bare wrist. "We have two minutes."

Bonnie looked at them, shocked before looking down, cheeks heated up in embarrassment. "I cut it really close, didn't I?"

Elena just shook her head, serene smile in place. "I knew you'd be here on time besides Caroline filled me in," her brown eyes looked at her in sympathy now, "I'm sorry about you and Mark, you should have told me."

"Please, c'est la vie," Bonnie deadpanned, "it's your day," she shrugged, "the relationship was running its course anyway. It was a long time coming actually."

Elena was going to say something but Caroline clapped her hands, "we'll do this later. Girl time, eat pizza, get drunk, watch rom coms but right now we have a wedding to attend." She ushered everyone out the room, including a sixteen year old Sarah Salvatore who was playing on her phone. The teenager glared at her, affronted when the phone was snatched out of her hands, "you'll get this back after the ceremony," Caroline said as she placed the phone on the vanity along with Bonnie's coat which was miraculously taken off her frame with out Bonnie really noticing. Now, that's talent. "Chop, chop ladies. Chop, chop."

They walked down the hallway leading into the area where the wedding was being held. There was flowers everywhere, it was decked along the walls like vines. Bonnie peaked her head to see Stefan standing with his brother, handsome and nervous. The whole ceremony was intimate, about fifty people in attendance.

She can hear Caroline huffing as the groomsman made their way to them, "Okay here's what's going down." She pointed at Matt, "you and Sarah are going to walk down first, then Bonnie and Kai and then-"

Bonnie raised her hand, "I thought I was walking with Tyler?"

"No, I'm going to walk with Tyler," Caroline said lowly, head turned towards Bonnie's direction. Caroline winked subtly at Bonnie and Bonnie resisted from rolling hers. Bonnie was sworn to secrecy on Caroline's newly developed crush on Tyler.

Bonnie shrugged and folded her arms. "Well, can't I walk with Matt?"

"Aww, Bonnie..."

Bonnie ignored the playfully wounded voice in the distance as she looked at her blonde friend pointedly. Caroline didn't seem that bothered by that idea but Sarah spoke up.

"No. We agreed I'm walking with Matt." Sarah looked up at the police officer rather adoringly while Matt just smiled awkwardly and looked away.

"I've never felt so loved in my entire life."

"Shut it, Kai." Caroline pointed at Bonnie, "you are walking with Kai." Bonnie just nodded, trying not to pout especially when Kai was suddenly next to her. "And obviously Elena and Mr. Gilbert is last." Caroline looked up sharply, "the music is playing." She nudged Matt's back, "go." Bonnie watched the first two figures ascend into the bright room.

"Hi." Kai smiled, "you look nice."

"Thanks?" Bonnie said warily, waiting for the punchline.

Kai chuckled, "that's it. You look nice. Better than nice actually."

She ignored his look of appreciation because she sure if it was sarcastic but her grams taught her to be polite in all settings, "you look good too," she said grudgingly because admittedly, he did look good in a simple black suit and his hair slightly coiffed.

Kai registered the tone in her voice and laughed which was abruptly cut off when Caroline pushed them forward.

"Go, dammit." After a moment, Bonnie heard Caroline whisper 'sorry' when she saw Kai steadying Bonnie as she fumbled at Caroline's push. Bonnie looked back to scowl at Caroline.

"I forgot how scary Caroline is when someone gives her a task to do." Kai whispered as he entwined his arm with hers and proceeded to slowly walk down the aisle.

"Yeah," Bonnie nodded, smiling at her mom and grams in passing, "she's not even maid of honour. Elena didn't want one. She couldn't choose between the two of us."

"Really? well," Kai said looking around, "she did a good job. Props to her."

Bonnie nodded before turning her head quickly at Kai in playful surprise, "did you just pay Caroline a compliment?" she tutted, "Portland is making you soft, I see." She smiled when Kai rolled his eyes, "how are you finding it anyway?"

"I do miss being here," his eyes held hers for a beat longer before looking away, "but I like it there, it's very chill." He cleared his throat and changed the topic, "so how's your love life? are you and Mark going to follow in Elena's footsteps and get hitched in a hurry."

She froze a little bit, Kai gave her a quizzical glance but she smiled humourlessly and carried on, "actually we broke up."

"What?" Kai said, shock evident in his voice but that's because he was one of the many people who believed Bonnie and Mark were destined to be together; get a big house in the suburbs, have a ton of kids and Labrador named Sam.

Bonnie unwrapped her arm with his and walked to her side of the aisle to stand next to Sarah, leaving Kai in a questionable daze as he walked to stand next to Damon. Damon gave him a funny look before nudging him in the ribs. Kai ignored him and proceeded to look down, brows furrowed.

Bonnie ignored Kai's sudden strange behaviour to look at Caroline and Tyler, who were having a quiet discussion of their own. Bonnie registered the slight pink hue on Tyler's cheeks, Bonnie wondered what Caroline was telling the poor man.

Her eyes darted to the white figure hovering in the background. Everyone got up to stand. The music suddenly shifted to 'Isn't She Lovely,' and Bonnie's eyes darted to the pianist in the corner, her eyes instantly watered at the beautiful cheesiness of it as Elena made her down the aisle, looking evidently surprised but Stefan just shrugged, awe still enveloping his face as he kept his eyes glued to the bride. Elena beamed at everyone as she clutched her bouquet of calla lilies. Even Caroline looked up slightly trying to keep her tears at bay.

Bonnie grinned at Elena, who kissed her father on the cheek before making her way to meet Stefan who instantly held his hands out to her. Bonnie looked away to inadvertently catch Kai's gaze, he seemed to already be looking at her. He tilted his head, she mirrored his movement and narrowed her eyes. He smirked, sending her a wink before focusing his attention on the bride and groom.

Bonnie frowned, unable to decipher the mood changes in Kai's behaviour. But then again, Kai has always been a bit of a weirdo though.

Bonnie mentally shook herself out of it of her current thoughts when the pastor cleared her throat, about to begin.

"Dearly beloved we have gathered here today..."

_Seven hours later and a lot of champagne in between:_

"Bonnie I think you're drunk," Caroline said as she clumsily held her glass, attempting to take another sip but missing its target once again, "fuck."

"No," Bonnie giggled at her friend, "no, I think you are."

"Jesus," Matt sighed as he watch the two women slowly and carefully take sips from their champagne flutes, "you two are getting water from now on. Didn't you just say you two went out last night?"

"We did," Caroline nodded, "but that was because Bonnie and Mark split up," Caroline immediately shut up when Bonnie directed a glare at her friend, at least she hoped it was glare as she felt her eyes droop.

"I'm sorry Bon."

Bonnie waved that away, "don't be Matt. It wasn't anybody's fault." Bonnie internally sighed, she no longer had her drunkin buzz. The giddiness left her and all that she had left was the urge to throw up. She got up suddenly (which was a complete mistake) and grabbed her clutch, "I'm gonna be right back, guys. Just gonna run to the ladies room."

Sensing what Bonnie was going to do, Matt started to get up too. "I'll come with you."

Caroline hiccupped, "that's weird Matt, you're a dude. I would come with you Bonnie but the room is spinning right now."

Matt rolled his eyes. He looked at Bonnie warily when she motioned for Matt to sit back down. "It's okay. I'll be right back." She carefully maneuvered herself around the circular tables as she made her way to the powder room. She bumped into somebody as she pushed open the double doors, not registering the male voice calling her name.

Bonnie clapped a hand over her mouth, comically charging the bathroom door and running into one of the stalls. Retching and gagging, "Eww," Bonnie mumbled pathetically as another wave of sickness hit her. After a couple of minutes when she was certain she didn't need to throw up again, she picked herself up from the cold, marble floor. She walked to the mirror, her mascara was a mess. She turned on the faucet, washed out her mouth and wiped off any bit of excess make up. She looked reasonably presentable, she took a breath and popped a tic tac in her mouth.

She opened the door to find Kai standing on the other side, leaning against the wall with a glass of water in his hand. He wordlessly held the glass out for her, feeling suddenly grateful she walked over to him, smiled and took the glass. "Thank you," Bonnie said when she was finished.

"You okay?" Kai said seriously while turning to face her, she nodded, "your grams saw you hobble like a baby deer. She was none too happy."

Bonnie moaned, "bet she wasn't. She'll kill me," She suddenly slumped down to the floor, "my life's a mess."

Kai chuckled above her, she yanked at his suit jacket and he got the message, he plonked down next to her. "That's the alcohol talking."

"It's true. I don't have a career, not married, not even close."

Kai shrugged, "well that's all of us Bonster."

"Not true," she shook her head to glance up at him, "you moved to Portland for a job. That's some grown up shit right there."

Kai shrugged, "since I'm originally from Portland and I have some family back there, I guess there isn't much 'grown up shit' on my part. I'm playing it safe it seems."

Bonnie shrugged, "still, you're an accountant..." as if that was supposed to make sense. "Must be nice..."

"Hmmm? Being an accountant?"

"No," she leaned her head against the wall, "finding your soul mate at sixteen."

Kai looked at her, a strange look entered his eyes as his gaze bounced across her features. Bonnie took that as confusion and clarified, "Stefan and Elena. It's like they both knew they were meant to be together."

Kai blinked rapidly and looked away. "yeah..."

"Do you think they're on their flight now?"

Kai checked his watch, absently, "another half hour."

Bonnie straightened up again and tapped Kai's shoulder to get back his attention which seemed to be diverted to the gaudy wallpaper. "Do you know what else I realized?"

He tilted his head. "What did you realize, Bonnie Bennett?"

The way he said her full name caused an unexpected shiver down her spine. Strange. "How bloody incestuous our group of friends are?" He slowly grinned at her, took on a look of amusement as Bonnie carried on, "Elena was with Matt before Stefan. Caroline was with Matt, had that fling with Klaus, Damon got with Rebekah-"

"You with Jeremey," Kai cut her off, smiling although his eyes were a little off. He nudged her, "guess that was the low point in you life, huh?"

She slapped his arm, "you would not stop making fun of me that year."

He shrugged, "well, it was hilarious to watch you two. How can I not comment on it?"

She decided to be the bigger person and let what he said go. Instead, she rested her forearm on his shoulder and rubbed her chin, "you never dated anybody in our group," She looked up at him shrewdly, "why is that?" She beamed when he shifted, looking a little uncomfortable at the question. That was a rare sight. Bonnie revelled in it. "We thought you were gay for a good couple of months."

Kai scoffed, "perhaps I didn't want to take part in your incestuous love fest, did you guys think of that?"

Bonnie ignored that and wanted to continue in this line of questioning. During the time he's been away, she forgot how much she enjoyed being in his company. Of course, fifty percent of the time usually ended up with her throwing something at him in annoyance but right now, she just missed him. "There must have someone you liked in our group."

Kai sighed heavily, "Bonnie..."

She poked his cheek, "was it Rebekah?" she took that as a 'no' when his face became pinched, "how about Caroline?"

He scoffed, "absolutely not and why are you naming blondes? When have I ever been interested in blondes." He looked at her pointedly then as if he was trying to relay a message to her telepathically and it suddenly dawned on her, "Elena?" she practically squeaked.

Kai rolled his eyes and started to get up. "Let's get back to party. You need more water."

Bonnie got up too, with the help of Kai, feeling immensely happy that she was no longer dizzy. She tugged on his sleeve, "I won't tell anybody if it was Elena." She held her hand up, "scouts honour."

He glanced down at her hand still holding onto his arm, he took a step closer to her. He tilted his head to side in a typical Kai manner that always told her he was assessing something...or someone. "Why are you so curious about who I liked in high school?"

"So you did like somebody?" She didn't notice her feet moving towards him as he stood there, gauging her movements. "Who?" They were a breath apart. His adams apple bobbed as he swallowed. _What are you doing?!_ the coherent part of her mind shouted at her but she didn't listen because frightening, she really wanted to kiss him. Badly. Blame the champagne. She stepped on her tip toes and gently pressed her lips against his. She applied more pressure and he became compliant, even placing his hand on her hips. The tip of her tongue touched his bottom lip and he groaned, pulling her against him. Her lips moved against his own with enthusiasm but it ended all too soon when he suddenly wrenched himself away from her and frowned. He backed away.

They stared at each other for a moment until Kai cleared his throat, "you're drunk and just got out of a long term relationship so you're feeling pretty shitty right now. I get it."

Bonnie felt like she should say something to that but she wasn't really sure what to say to alleviate the foreign tension between them so she just nodded, "I'm sorry," she muttered.

Kai let out an exacerbated sigh, he tucked his hands in his blazer pockets and looked away, "Don't apologize Bonnie," he said quietly.

"Let's pretend this didn't happen please. You're right, it was stupid."

"I didn't say it was stupid," he said quickly. He actually sounded irritated with her which was a rarity to hear considering the combative relationship they're known for, he's never really snapped at her. He bit the inside of his cheek, still not looking at her. He slowly turned to face her and nodded, "but yeah. Let's pretend it didn't happen then," his tone softer now.

Bonnie sighed with relief while Kai gave her a tight smile in return.

They both turned towards the direction of the double doors when it started to open and in came Matt. He looked between the two of them before saying slowly, "am I interrupting?"

Bonnie shook her head.

"Not at all," Kai said with a casual ease that wasn't there a moment ago. He sauntered towards the doors before saying, "gonna go say hi to the folks." He nodded towards Matt, "make sure she drinks more water." Bonnie's heart sunk a little when he didn't look her way as he walked out.

"To be honest, I thought you drowned in the toilet bowl you took so long." Matt sighed, reminding her of her mother at times.

"No and that's disgusting," she muttered before walking towards the direction of the party. She grimaced when she opened the doors to hear Damon drunkenly sing, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.'

"Bon..." Matt said cautiously. "Did something happen between you and Kai?"

Bonnie shook at her head and smiled, "if by something you mean Kai endlessly annoying me then yes but what else is new?"

"Okay," Matt said after a moment, he nodded towards her clutch. "Do you have your phone?"

Bonnie raised an eyebrow, "yeah. Why?"

"My battery is about to die and I need someone to videotape Damon looking like an idiot. I'll show it to him from time to time, to keep him humble."

Bonnie chuckled while picking up her clutch off the ground. Matt walked ahead to open the door for her, "right on time," Matt muttered when Damon moved on to 'My Heart Will Go On.'

Bonnie couldn't help her eyes from searching for Kai's frame, she found him sitting at the Parker's table, wedged between Luke and Jo. He seemed to behaving a minor disagreement with his twin as Bonnie watched him sigh and reach for his glass while Jo spoke to him in a frustrated manner, her hands animated.

She made her way back to her own table to find Caroline taking a nap, using her purse as a pillow. She sat down, hoping that Kai would join them at any time during the party but that wasn't the case when the last time she saw him that night was when all the Parkers hauled themselves into Mr. Parkers van/mini bus. Kai gave her a wave as she hugged her mom goodbye outside the hotel. By the time she waved back, he was already inside.

* * *

**_Wedding no. 2: Jenna Sommers and Alaric Saltzman_ **

"You're awesome for letting them use your home for the reception."

Stefan shrugged, "it's not really my place anymore." That was true in a way, considering Elena and Stefan wanted to live in much smaller home as a married couple. They currently reside in a cottage on the outskirts of Mystic Falls.

"Still..."

"It was Damon that offered," Stefan stated as he looked around the Salvatore Manor, an impressed look on his face. "He even took part in the decorating and catering. Think he missed his calling."

Bonnie's lips pursed as she followed Stefan's line of sight, a buffet that Bonnie was definitely going to make her way over to soon, "so it would seem."

"Just like you missed your calling on being the local weather woman."

"How are dare you bring up my broken dream," she pointed at him playfully. A seven year old Bonnie and Elena would borrow Mr. Gilbert's video camera to record Bonnie giving the weather forecast in a tutu behind the backdrop of taped up pieces of newspapers coloured in with green magic marker. It was all very professional. Elena thought it was hilarious to show Stefan the tape when Bonnie went to visit them last week. "I could have been a star."

"Oh absolutely," he smiled in a polite manner.

Bonnie shot him an unamused look when his tone spoke otherwise as she followed him to the expansive dining hall.

"Woah," Stefan whispered and Bonnie completely understood because...Woah indeed. The dining hall was five times the size of Bonnie's apartment, the walls were lined with shades of green floral patterns and intricate gold swirls splattered here and there.

"Did your brother add an extension?"

"He got busy when I left," Stefan said slowly, still in disbelief as he looked around.

"I can see why Damon offered to have the reception here," she squinted at the design carved into the marble fireplace, "so everyone can bask at his surprisingly creative streak he's got going on," Bonnie walked towards one of the bay windows and sat down, watching Jenna and her bridesmaids, including Elena, pose in a line for the camera man. "Your wife's looking beautiful."

"Yeah," Stefan said softly as he walked where Bonnie sat. He stood next to her, a surprised guffaw erupted from both of them when one of the bridesmaids toppled over on the lawn, Elena and another woman immediately coming to the aid, hoisting the fallen woman up. Bonnie started coughing, trying to stop her laughter when other people starting coming into the room to have a mosey at the décor.

Bonnie heard a message alert go off, she turned around to see Stefan pull out his phone. After a moment, he said, "that was Kai," Bonnie immediately schooled her features to impassivity.

Things weren't awkward between herself and Kai, at least not anymore. For the couple of months that took place after the kiss, their contact was sporadic at best. Kai rarely tried reaching out to her but when he did, he apologized and said he was busy and she supposed it was true, considering it was tax season. He must have been swamped. Bonnie was frustrated though and yes, she knows it's selfish but even when he moved away, they still frequently contacted each other. Whether by calls, texts or sending each other funny memes. If anything he used to bombard her with his presence even if he wasn't physically there.

There was even a time, Mark believed Kai had a crush on Bonnie and Bonnie used to laugh at the ridiculousness of that assumption.

Bonnie bit her lip, allowing herself to dwell at the memory of their kiss. The guy can kiss, that's for damn sure. Bonnie was practically gnawing at her lip now, _'he kissed me back...'_ She mentally shook herself out of those thoughts.

"You okay Bonnie?"

Bonnie smiled and nodded, "of course. Where is he anyway?" She saw him at the church service and they both carpooled with Caroline and Tyler but he seemed to have disappeared when they got to the manor.

Stefan frowned, "apparently, Kai the explorer found a stable we never used to have before just on the edge of our property and apparently Damon bought some Shetland ponies."

That was the weirdest sentence she has ever heard in her entire life. Bonnie giggled, clapping a hand over her mouth. "Do you think Damon is having a midlife crisis?"

"At thirty-four?" Stefan shrugged, "probably." He sighed, "he needs to find somebody and stop spending his inheritance."

"I think he misses his little brother," Bonnie noted in regards to Damon's erratic behaviour. "He started splurging when you got married."

Stefan was silent for a ponderous moment, "guess I should invite him for dinner this week."

Bonnie nodded, "that would best." Bonnie started to stand up, smoothing down creases of midnight blue, silk ensemble dress. "I want to check out those Shetland ponies though." _'And to see Kai'_ But the last part didn't need to be vocalised.

Stefan nodded, "Yeah, I didn't want to sound too eager but me too. I was waiting for you to bring it up."

Bonnie laughed as they made their way out the dinning hall, "do you think Elena is finished with the picture taking?" In that exact moment, Elena dressed in a floor length lilac bridesmaids dress came through the front door, hair in a little disarray due to the wind. Bonnie waved at her.

Elena smiled at the two as she made her way over to them. "I'm hungry," she stated before making her way towards the buffet table. Stefan gently clasped her wrist and tugged her back to them, "food Stefan. Food."

"Ponies."

"What?" Elena gave her husband a weird look before turning to Bonnie.

"Shetland ponies," Bonnie said with a solemn nod as if that was suppose to clarify anything.

"Damon bought some Shetland ponies," Stefan said hurriedly before Elena could question their sanity, "Kai happened upon them. Wanna come with us?"

Elena quickly nodded, "yeah. Give me a second." Elena left them and came back with mini quiches and a sandwich, "okay. Let's go."

They walked out the back through the kitchen and out the backdoors and down a slight grassy slope. Stefan was awkwardly holding on to the two of them for a bit when their sharp heels kept sticking into the grass. Fed up, Bonnie took off her strappy shoes and Elena followed not long after.

They walked silently for a bit, Bonnie was enjoying the scenery. The sky was a perfect blue and Bonnie was amazed by how much the Salvatore property stretched. Stefan was swinging Elena's shoes in his hands as Elena ate her food.

They stopped when they saw a figure make their way over to them. Bonnie's heart sped up a little bit as Kai approached them, she gave him a smile.

Without any hesitation Kai swung his arm around Bonnie's shoulder and kept her there, saying casually, "They literally look like tiny, chubby horses," as he addressed them all. "They don't even reach my knee."

"I need to see this," Elena said excitedly, grabbing the hem of her dress as she ran over to the stables. Stefan followed after her although in a slower pace but sped up when Elena squeaked out a "so cute! Stefan."

Bonnie looked up at him, "they're nearly thirty and they're getting excited over ponies."

Kai raised an eyebrow, "really with the judgement?" They continued their walk, "might I remind you on that little trip to Disney World."

That shut her up.

Bonnie noticed his arm around her shoulder was still there as they caught up with Stefan and Elena, "so where did you go off to anyway?"

He looked at her as if she said something ridiculous, "do you know where we are right now, Bonnie?" He said, slowly.

She rolled her eyes, "so you stayed the entire time here...with the ponies?"

"Oh...no, but did you see the entire new wing Damon built?" Bonnie shook her head, "he's going insane." Bonnie slapped his shoulder, Kai ignored her as he continued, "But it's all done up and it looks a medieval movie set. It's bonkers."

"Really?"

Nodding, he said, "I'm gonna check on it again when we get back. I swear I thought I saw a hidden corridor."

"Mind if I come with?" Bonnie blurted out without much thought, she cleared her throat when he remained silent and she felt his hand loosen a little in grip. "Or not, whatever." She shrugged, feigning nonchalance but that caused Kai to drop his arm at her movement.

Before she can say anything else, hoping to mask the slight hurt at his rejection. She felt silly with her current feelings since it's not really much of a rejection, she's just not used to it. Even though Kai has always been close to everyone in their close-knit circle of friends since he moved here, he's always been a bit of a lone wolf. It's actually a running joke amongst everyone on how flaky he can be at times. Cancelling plans with people and whatnot. But Bonnie could never really relate with them in that respect since he always showed up for her. He said to her once when they were fifteen years old that people annoy him. She asked him if he found her annoying, _"nah, never. You're cool."_

"Bon?" Bonnie snapped out of it realizing Kai was waving his hand in front of her face. Her cheeks burned and he chuckled, "I forget you have those zone out kind of moments."

"I don't zone out," Bonnie scoffed, "...but were you saying something?"

He grinned and nodded, "yeah. It would be nice to have a partner in crime."

"Crime?" Bonnie said, putting her heels back on when they were at the entrance. Kai stooped a little bit so he can be used as support. She held onto his arm, refraining to think about how solid it was as she put on her shoes. "Are we going to steal something?" She dropped her arm.

Kai pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side in contemplation, "we might."

"Kai."

"Fine," he shrugged, "I might."

"Kai."

"It's just Damon."

"Kai."

"Please."

"No but..." she playfully punched his arm, "we can catch up. Talk about anything, work or our love lives or lack of," her face scrunched up, "defiantly lack of, at least on my end." She didn't see the way Kai's eyes hardened as she looked down, kicking a pebble.

"Lack of?" Kai chuckled, Bonnie looked up when it sounded strained, "doubt it, didn't you go on a couple dates recently with that guy Caroline set you up with?" He smiled but it held no warmth, "I'm proud of you. Getting back up on that horse. Well done buddy," his tone didn't reflect those encouraging words though. Bonnie was confused, she was about to speak but he continued on, "I mean, I'm dating as well so no lack of love for the both of us, huh?"

"Kai," Bonnie said hesitantly, "we're cool, right?" She shook her head, "I mean, it was a little awkward there for a while and I know that was my fault but I thought we were passed that." She bit her bottom lip, "aren't we?"

Kai glanced at her mouth for a second before looking away. He rubbed his temple, he breathed out heavily, "we are." He smiled, looking back at her, "sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about Kai," Bonnie laughed, trying to defuse the awkward situation. She nodded towards the barn, she stuttered a little bit to see Stefan there. Bonnie was surprised with the sympathetic look emitting Stefan's face suddenly as Bonnie and Kai walked towards the barn. She was even more baffled at the silent communication between the two men, she didn't miss the way Kai shook his head subtly at Stefan's furrowed brows.

"Look at them, Bonnie." Elena cooed at she sat on a stack of hay, hands on both knees as the brunette watched the ponies stand around in their pen. "Look."

"They are adorable," Bonnie smiled as she sat next to her friend. She tried to watch the ponies and but she kept getting distracted with a conversation in the far corner of the barn; Stefan looked like he was trying to offer words of comfort or encouragement while Kai looked like he didn't want to hear them.

_A couple of hours later:_

"Aww, I'm disappointed." Bonnie pouted as she walked around the cellar filled with stacks of bourbon and whiskey. "And doesn't he already have another cellar filled with booze?"

Kai nodded as he picked up a bottle of whiskey and inspected it, "yeah, on the other side." He put the bottle back, "I thought this would be a sex chamber or something else really kinky."

Bonnie lightly snorted as she looked at all the pristine, wooden shelves. "Really? with whips, chains and leather swings?"

"Now you're talkin," Kai mused as he inspected more bottles before taking one and putting it in his jacket pocket.

"Kai," Bonnie admonished, "put it back."

"Stefan took three bottles," Kai reasoned as he gestured around the seemingly endless supply of bourbon, "Tyler took two and believe it or not, Caroline took five." Bonnie stared at him, scandalized. He chuckled as he walked over to her and grabbed her hand. An inexplicable heat rushed up her spine as they walked out of the cellar. "Let's check the other rooms out."

Bonnie nodded wordlessly as they walked down the marble floors and into another room Kai opened randomly. "Cool," Bonnie smiled, she wondered if Damon was inspired by Harry Potter when he decorated this room which was all stone, bright red, thick cloths scaled down the walls and there was a massive fireplace in the centre of the room. "Definitely medieval," Bonnie nodded.

"What I tell ya," Kai said as he sat down on one of the giant leather couches. He pulled the bottle of whiskey out, twisted the top and took a sip. He sighed, "I needed that after all that karaoke."

Bonnie laughed as she sat down next to him, he handed her the bottle and she shook her head, he took another sip. "Not really a karaoke session when it's only Damon singing. Caroline looked livid the entire time." At one point, she saw Tyler physically holding Caroline back in her seat when Damon started singing 'Eternal Flame.'

"I've never seen Alaric look so mortified too," Kai slumped a little in his seat, "and he's always had this perpetually embarrassed look on his face."

"Think that's just a teacher thing," Bonnie hesitated a little as she rested her head on Kai's shoulder which looked so invitingly woolly and warm, she gave in, "Like how did I get stuck teaching these idiots."

"Never had Alaric as a teacher, think I had Mr. Murphy or something."

"Guy with the goatee?"

"Yeah." That sat there for while, not saying anything until Kai shifted a little, "Bonnie, sorry about snapping at you earlier."

"You didn't snap," Bonnie said with a yawn, "and I told you not to say sorry."

"Still..."

"No," Bonnie straightened up. She willed herself the courage to address the slight distance between them and she really hoped after the conversation, they can stop walking on eggshells and be how they were before. "I know I fucked up at Elena's wedding by kissing you and I know blaming it on alcohol is such a cop out and other reasons."

"What reasons?" Kai murmured as he turned fully to face her.

Bonnie sighed, "Mark and my breakup was mutual, we just didn't have that umm," her brows furrowed trying to find the right words.

"Spark?" Kai hedged, not taking his eyes off her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Not for a while anyway but I assumed their was a mutual respect there but literally two days after our break up, he's with someone else...in a relationship. Why be that shitty?" She takes a sip from Kai's whiskey, she sputters a bit at the taste.

She laughed humourlessly, "it's obvious he was having an affair while we were together. He's an asshole for not ending it sooner if he wanted to be with someone else and not waste my time. But I started thinking what is so wrong with me? And their has to be something wrong with me because why can't someone just want me?"

She tries taking another sip. This takes her back to high school when herself and Jeremy broke up and he went immediately back to his ex girlfriend, Anna. And just like tonight, Kai was the one she confided in all those years ago when he found her crying on the couch when he went to collect a CD she borrowed off him. It was awkward but he let her cry on his shoulder and refrained from any snarky remarks. She was so grateful to him and even the next day when she found out Kai slashed the tyres of Jeremy's car since that was Kai's own special way of saying he's got her back...even if it as through acts of vandalism.

She shook her head, "think that's why I overdid it on the booze and umm," she gestured to him, "kissed you. I was being selfish and I wanted to make myself feel better and it was so wrong."

Kai was still looking at her intently, he smiled hesitantly. "Want me to slash Marks tires?" At Bonnie's fond smile, Kai's face dimmed. "Bonnie, I think you're just dating the wrong guys because you are enough, unbelievably so. You're intelligent and beautiful and..." He took a deep breath, "Bonnie you're perf-" At Bonnie's hammering heart she blamed on the whiskey, she almost didn't hear Kai's phone go off. He released a huff of annoyance as he pulled out his phone. Mostly due to his irritation, the phone slipped out of his hand and on to the space between them.

Her hammering heart started to ebb as she saw the name _Claire_ on his phone. A dull sensation enveloped her as she smiled slightly, "you should answer it. Is she the girl you're dating?"

Kai glared at the phone before looking up, giving Bonnie a pained expression she didn't understand. "Bonnie..." he pressed the reject button, "wait." Bonnie started to stand up. "Bonnie where are you going?"

Bonnie checked her own phone, "it's late and I'm hitching a ride with Stefan and Elena."

"I'll take you home," Kai said quickly and with a tint of frustration.

"We're going in two different directions, it's not logical." She nodded towards his phone. "Maybe you should make a phone call to someone, hmm?" She walked up to Kai who was still giving her a strange expression and hugged him, his arms remained at his side. "Thanks for saying those nice things to me," she internally sighed when she felt his hands reach around her back and hold her, "you're such a good friend." Because that's what they were, consoling words from one friend to another.

He pulled back a little to look at her, an impassive look on his face as he gauged her. She wasn't sure what he wanted to see and if he did see what he wanted as his Adam's apple bobbed, "any time, friend," he muttered. He dropped his hands from her side to collect his phone on the couch.

Bonnie forced herself a chuckle, "maybe we can go double dating sometime."

She didn't know why she said that.

Stupid word vomit and completely untrue, she'd have to pay a stranger to come with her she's so painfully single right now. But Kai didn't say anything to that, he just watched her silently as she swayed her arms awkwardly.

"Anyway, I'll see you around." She waved before turning around to quickly walk out the door. She stood against the wall, took a deep breath. She continued her walk slowly, very slowly, wondering if he was going to come out of the room soon.

A huge part of her mind was telling her she should go back into the room. She kept on walking though, ignoring that part of her that got progressively louder with each step she took away from Kai. She listened to the logical part of her mind, telling her to keep going. He's probably on the phone to _Claire_ anyway and she didn't want to intrude.

* * *

"God, I can't believe we're going to another wedding." Caroline moaned as she laid her head on Bonnie's kitchen counter top. "We just went to one," She let out a pitiful groan while Bonnie made them some spaghetti. "And we just got the invite, the wedding is in three weeks. It's obviously because some people didn't RSVP so we're the ladder Bon, it's fucking rude"

Bonnie just shrugged as she stirred the pot. "Actually, don't tell anybody cause Kai told me this in confidence," she paused, "well, he was drunk when he told me so he probably wasn't supposed to tell at all but it's a shotgun wedding."

Caroline raised her head up looking newly invigorated, "really? Well congratulations to her." Bonnie nodded. "I'm recycling my dress from Elena's wedding."

"The bridesmaid dress?" Bonnie's face scrunched up.

"Yes, I can't afford fancy dresses."

Bonnie smiled as she threw in the carrots, "do you, girl."

"Marriage is so overrated and archaic, why do people get married so much."

Bonnie scoffed at that. "Yeah and if Tyler proposed marriage to you right now, you'd tell him what an archaic and overrated ritual marriage is and say no?"

She lifted her head. "Yeah," Caroline nodded but the way her eyes dipped to the side suggests otherwise. Caroline groaned again and she ran her hands through her blond hair, "do we have to go to this one, Bon?" Bonnie rolled her eyes and turned around to see her pouting.

"Yes, we do Caroline."

"But we don't even know her that well," Caroline urged while she picked up an errand carrot and started to take bites from it.

"Caroline," she admonished. "Even if that may be the case," because honesty, Bonnie always found Jo a little stuck up. "We're good friends with her brother."

"No, you are good friends with Kai. Not me."

Bonnie spun around, pointing the wooden spoon she used for stirring at her. "Caroline that's bullshit, you're going, besides..." she cleared her throat, "Elena and Stefan can't go since they're going to Thailand that week so that leaves you."

"I'm so touched, Bonnie," Caroline said dramatically, placing a hand on her heart. Bonnie grinned as she went back to stirring, "so another one bites the dust." Caroline tapped her fingers against the granite impatiently, "I wonder who's next after Jo since apparently we're all getting married."

"You and Tyler?"

Caroline deadpanned, "next."

"Kol and Davina?"

Caroline shrugged, "maybe but Kol has always been a bit of a commitment-phobe," Bonnie nodded in agreement, "pretty sure Kai would most likely be married before Kol to what's her face."

Bonnie slowed down her stirring. "Yeah, probably."

"You okay?" Caroline asked sensing her melancholic tone, "I've noticed every time I mentioned Kai and..." Caroline's brows furrowed, "I always forget her name."

"Claire," Bonnie offered, "her name's Claire."

"Yes, her," Caroline said absently before softening her tone, "your eyes look a little sad...are you sad about Kai and Claire, do you wish it was Kai and-"

"Spaghetti is finished," chimed Bonnie as she tossed the spoon in the sink, "grab the plates Care."

"Bonnie..."

"Caroline," Bonnie said as she forced a smile, she can already feel it shaking, "I'm fine. I'm happy for Kai, really. I can't remember the last time he's been in a proper relationship so I'm really happy for him."

Caroline got up from her stool, "well, if you say so but I'm just saying," Bonnie raised her hand up about to cut in but Caroline rushed in her words, "they're not even that serious yet so don't think it's not too late because it's not Bon, it's really not." Caroline sighed, "that's all I wanted to say," she walked over to the cupboard to gather the plates while Bonnie gawked at her. "What?" Caroline asked innocently, grabbing her plate to get her share of the food.

"I don't like Kai that way." Bonnie said as she folded her arms, feeling like a petulant child, "we're friends."

"Remember that time we played truth or dare?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes knowing Caroline would bring up her adolescent confession, "we were sixteen, Care and how do you remember this stuff?"

"I'm just saying," Caroline said as sat down about to dig in, fork and knife in hand. She set the cutlery back down, "Bonnie?" When Caroline got Bonnie's attention by throwing a piece of carrot at her, she said, "you know it's okay to let yourself be happy, right? If anyone deserves a little bit of happiness, it's you."

Bonnie smiled, feeling quite touched, "Thanks. We're did that come from?"

Caroline just shrugged as she twirled her spaghetti around, "oh and let's make a pact. If none of us aren't married by the time we're fifty, let's just marry each other."

Bonnie tilted her head before saying, "hmm. Make that forty-five."

Caroline nodded, "deal."

"I thought marriage was archaic?" Bonnie asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

"We'd make a glorious couple though," Caroline reasoned as she held her own glass to be poured, Bonnie nodded in agreement.

* * *

_**Wedding no. 3: Josette Parker and Tony Wu** _

"It was a complete mistake wearing this dress," Caroline hissed as they sat awaiting their dinner, "I never thought about the pictures that would be taken, Elena is gonna kill me." Caroline started shooing away Tyler, who started taking a few pictures just then, "so, help me Tyler..." she said lowly as she glared at her boyfriend. He placed the camera slowly back on the table.

"Well, I could have told you that Caroline," Bonnie said in amusement. "Doubt you'd be able to shoo away that professional camera man over there," she nodded towards a bulky guy dressed in dark plaid. Bonnie looked away when he started making his way towards Kai's table, who had his date with him whom ironically was not Claire anymore. The pretty brunette with long hair brushed her hand along his bicep, he smiled at her when he turned away from his conversation with Luke.

That smile, something coursed through her just then. She found it a little difficult to breath. "Woah," she whispered to herself.

"You okay, Bon?" Matt asked from across the table.

Bonnie smiled at the deja vu but this time their wasn't even a tiny bit of alcohol in her system. "Yeah," she smiled. "I just need some air. It's really hot in here." She stood up, she's pretty sure she passed a balcony on the way to the reception, she'll take a breath there. She left the reception unaware of the grey eyes that followed her.

"Bingo," she smiled. She opened the glass doors to the balcony. It over looked a garden, but she can barely see it due to the lack of light. She closed her eyes as she placed her hands on her cheeks, her forearms leaning against the stone. "What is wrong with me?" It's Kai, just Kai. Her buddy. Her buddy that she's been thinking about a lot since their kiss.

What is wrong with her?

She heard a knock, flinching, she turned around to find Kai leaning against the door, "mind if I join you?" He asked, tone monotonous. He walked over to and wordlessly placed his suit jacket over her shoulders, she looked up at him in surprise.

"Thank you," she said as put her arms through the sleeves.

"You're welcome."

"Isn't Jo going to kill you?" When he looked at her questioningly, "you left the reception."

Kai smiled, "it's dinner. Not the inquisition. Besides she asked me to check on you."

"Really?" Bonnie asked, her tone sceptical.

Kai tilted his head slowly from side to side, "more or less."

Bonnie frowned, looking at him. "More or less?"

Kai gulped as he clenched his hands, "Jo told me I should wait," when she looked at him curiously, he sighed, "when you and Mark broke up she told me I should give it time, let you grieve the relationship when all I wanted to do at the time was confess to you..." Kai turned to look at Bonnie's still profile, she can see him at the corner of her eye. "I love you, Bonnie."

She's not sure if she heard him correctly, "what?" Bonnie felt her palms shake as his warm hands clasped onto hers, "Kai," she looked at him with wide eyes. "When?"

Kai turned her around to look at her, slowly his hesitant features turned into awe. "Wow, you're serious."

"Yeah, I'm serious Kai," she said, fumbling her words. "When?"

Kai shrugged, "what year did I move here?"

Bonnie gasped, she shook her head. "Stop, be serious."

"I am," he said earnestly. "I was crushing on you when we were kids, that grew," He exhaled, "I love you." She starting shaking her head, "I would never hurt you Bonnie. Ever."

"You can't promise that," she whispered.

"Promise, what?" He asked in genuine confusion.

"That!" she gestured at him, "hurting me. You can't promise that. I could probably hurt you too."

"We won't hurt each other," he said with stoic resolution.

"You live in Portland," she said suddenly, pointing at him.

"I'll make arrangements," he shrugged, "I come here quite a bit anyway."

At Bonnie's hesitation, he sighed, "can we at least give us a go?" His jaw tightened, his eyes hard as if something suddenly dawned on him, "I'm not Mark, I'm not Jeremy or every other guy that fucked you over in between." Bonnie flinched at his words, "Just trust me," his tone softer, "I've loved you since forever."

"That too," Bonnie wrenched herself away from him, her body already missing his warmth. "What if we do give this ago, you said you loved me for a really long time. What if I don't meet your expectations? You have me and you realize I'm not what you imagined. What happens then?"

He looked at her like she was genuinely insane. Maybe she was. "Expectations? imagine? What the fuck? We've known each other for years. Why are you turning everything I'm saying around?" He took a step closer to her and she took a step back. He stopped, his voice quiet, "I realized, I kept talking about how I feel about you. I'm being really presumptuous aren't I?" he took a moment to speak, "do you want to stay friends Bon?" He looked like saying those words physically pained him and her heart ached, "cause I admit it'll be a little difficult on my end since I just..." he swallowed, "we can stay friends though. Just give me time."

Tears were freely flowing down her face.

"Just tell me that I never had a chance with you," he said quietly as he took a step closer to her, "okay?"

She closed her eyes, wanting to pull him close but she kept her hands at her sides. She sighed when she felt him rest his forehead against her. It appeared her body had a mind of its own when her hands griped his side, clutching his button down and scrunching it up. "Bonnie..." his warm breath caressing her face. She felt his face lower at the same time she lifted hers. Their lips touched, the softness of his lips sent a current running through her body. Her hands hesitantly crept up his chest to rest on his shoulders, he pulled her closer. The kiss was slow and sweet, Kai made sure of that. He never asked for more, seemingly perfectly content with just holding her. The last time they kissed, Bonnie didn't have the rapid stomach flipping since that was tapered by lots of champagne. Now, she was terrified at the live wire jolt running through body when he touched her.

When they pulled apart Bonnie glanced up at him while Kai looked down at her, a faint, sad smile in place, his eyes reluctant.

"We probably shouldn't have done that, huh?" Kai said softly.

"No," Bonnie shook her head, she sighed, "we probably shouldn't." Her eyes started tearing up, she took a step back. Kai's jaw tightened as he looked away, resigned, "Kai..."

Kai shook his head, "it's cool Bon." He looked back at her, "thought I'd say it to you now than regret never speaking up ever." He reached up to vigorously rub his forehead, "you'll never how many times I regret not saying something to you in the past, so now I did." He was silent for a moment, he looked like he wanted to say more with the way his brows furrowed as he stared at the ground, "I wish I there sooner," he smiled humourlessly, "if I asked you out ages ago, maybe you'd realize we're all not the same, those dicks that waste your time. That we're not all like your dad." Bonnie flinched, gaping at the mention of her father, her sore spot.

Kai walked over to her, "I have to get back. I'm suppose to give a speech but I never prepared." He must have seen Bonnie shaking but it wasn't from the cold, "Don't run away Bon. It's my sister's wedding she'll kill you." He leaned in to kiss her lightly on the forehead, she barely felt it. "You are enough Bon, just know that, kay?" He walked towards the door, "don't stay out too long it's fucking cold," his voice dwindled towards end, the emotion of the situation getting to him.

Bonnie turned around and latched onto him, unthinkingly, letting her tears flow as she hugged him from behind, "I'm sorry," she can feel his stomach contract underneath her arms, "I'm sorry."

His hands came up to place them on Bonnie's for a moment, giving a comforting squeeze before gently prying them apart. She dropped her arms. "I feel like we keep apologizing to each other for nothing," He stood there for a moment before reaching out and turning the handle on the door, "like I said, don't stay out here too long." He walked out the door and back to the reception.

She placed her hands over her mouth and screamed, she wanted to tear her hair out.

She felt stunted somehow, a part of her felt overwhelming elation at his declaration while the other half felt white hot fear of the unknown, that uncharted territory. She also feared the expected or what she was expecting in the relationship with Kai where they're fine for awhile but over time the relationship will disintegrate, they start to slowly hate each other and she looses not only a partner but a friend. She's also terrified of her pessimistic mind set; everyone ends up alone anyway so what's the point? She let herself go with Mark, gave years into relationship and for what? to be screwed over. With Kai, the stakes are higher.

She hugged herself, she realized she's still wearing Kai's jacket. She rolled her eyes up in frustration.

She gives herself another ten minutes before she starts walking towards the reception and makes a beeline for her table in a hurry. She sits down to see her plate has already been half eaten. She looked up to see Tyler looking at her apologetically, "you can have my desert," he says in a placating tone.

Bonnie waved that away, "it's okay." She said quietly, "I'm not hungry."

"What? not hungry," Caroline said, "who are you and what have you done..." Caroline turned around to face Bonnie who tried to look casual but as her friend's sentence drifted, she knew she was failing, "Bon?"

She can feel the tears rise up and Caroline looked at her in alarm. Bonnie shook her head pleadingly, silently begging her not to say anything in front of company. Message received as Caroline went back to her plate but she kept throwing worried glances through out the night. Bonnie sat there for a moment, she can feel eyes on her. She assumed it was Kai so it took her a while to look up but when she did she met Jo's. Bonnie nearly cringed at the way Kai's twin looked at her with open dislike and Bonnie couldn't blame her. Bonnie hurt her little brother (by three minutes). Her eyes bounced to Kai who was quiet and nursing himself a drink.

_You're a goddamn coward_ , her mind screamed at her. She sighed, oh boy, does she know.

* * *

**Did you have safe flight back to P?**

message sent. 9:04am

**Yeah, thanks Bon :)**

message sent. 10:42am

* * *

Bonnie was huddled under blankets her mom brought from home, she dozed off here and there but the constant sound of beeping, trolleys and nurses coming into check on grams always woke her up. She was grateful to the noises, she always chided herself when she fell asleep.

She stood up and stretched, her back aching from the plastic chairs. She walked around grams bed and watched her sleep for a moment, she looked up to the IV bag that was nearly depleted in fluids. She's pretty sure it's on a timer, she's not sure. She'll ask the next nurse that comes in. She looked down at her grams and brushed back her hair from her face. She looked utterly peaceful.

She got a call from her mom in the middle of the night, telling her Sheila suffered a blood clot and the prognosis was dire. It was completely unexpected as Bonnie thought grams had more time left.

Bonnie looked up when she heard footsteps, "I'm not sure what you wanted," Abby said, holding up Cheetos and Ruffles. Bonnie pointed at the Ruffles, knowing her mom loved Cheetos with a passion. Bonnie walked over to her mom and sat down, "will she be okay for a least a little while?"

"They say the cancer has spread," Abby hesitated before saying, "the doctor want us to prepare now."

Bonnie nodded as she tried to contain her sob but it was no use when her mom reached out to hug her, pulling her close. She cried in her shoulder as her mom rubbed her back in a circular manner like she did when Bonnie was a child. She cried until she was exhausted. "Do you think dad is going to come if we ask him?"

Abby rested her cheek against Bonnie's head, "I left him a message but Bonnie," she sighed with perpetual bitterness, "he has his own family." Bonnie just nodded as she watched Grams gentle breathing.

* * *

_**With our deepest sympathies** _

Bonnie stood next to her mom as people went up to them, shaking their hands and offering their condolences. Bonnie was at the point of being numb right now as she nodded her thanks each time.

Her friends enveloped in hugs as they passed. Caroline and Elena hovered next to her asking if their was anything she needed, ready to bolt into action.

"I'm just going to go upstairs for a bit," she said to Caroline and Elena when her mother was dragged away somewhere by an aunt Bonnie rarely saw.

Caroline and Elena both nodded, "Call us if you need anything," Elena said gently.

Bonnie weakly smiled as she left the two women, she checked her phone when she felt it vibrate in her pocket. Bonnie felt a rush of morbid excitement as she ran to her old bedroom and sat down. She opened the text message, her shoulders slumped as she read the superficial apology. It was what she expected but it didn't mean it hurt any less as fresh tears welled her green eyes.

"You fucking bastard," she gritted as she threw herself back and covered her forearm over her face. Tears streamed down her face for however long until she heard a timid knock on her door. "Come in," she called out, expecting her mom.

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie sat up and brushed her tears away with the back of her hand. She stared at Kai for a moment before her face crumbled.

He ran to her immediately, collapsed on his knees and hugged her. "He said he was busy with work, he promised he was going to come." Bonnie mumbled into his shoulder, resting her cheek there. "My dad can't even be here for my grams funeral." He held her tighter.

"No offence Bon but he's an asshole."

Bonnie nodded in agreement. "Are you staying in Mystic Falls long?" she asked brushing her tears away.

Kai sighed, "I have to catch a flight tonight."

"Of course, of course." Bonnie gave him a watery smile when she pulled back. He brushed back the errand curls from her face, tucking them behind her ear. Her heart thudded at the sweet gesture. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course, Bonnie," he said quietly, his eyes flitted around her face. "Can I get you anything? Tea or coffee, a sandwich? Granted I'd have to pry them away from Caroline's hands, she keeps scoffing them up."

Bonnie laughed, the first time in weeks. She shook her head, still chuckling, "no thanks. I'm fine." Her eyes suddenly fixated on a framed picture on top of her drawer, "do you remember that photo?"

Kai turned around, "oh god." He turned back to face her. "Yeah, that photo was taken five seconds before I got a near thrashing from your grams." He shook his head, "it was one of the scariest moments of my life."

Bonnie smiled fondly of the picture of the gang, "well, you did break her expensive vase." Her smile widened slightly at the memory of a sixteen year old Kai running around her house with Sheila chasing after him with a cane. She lifted her arms up and pulled him close this time. "And that's why grams hated you."

Kai laughed, "you lie." Bonnie felt the urge to close her eyes when his warm breath enveloped her neck. She held onto him for a bit longer before letting go, she made to stand up so he pushed himself up and into a standing position. "Downstairs?"

Bonnie nodded, "yeah. Mom said not to leave her alone for any longer then twenty minutes. She can't stand a lot of her family members."

"I understand, if anything us Parkers know is how to treat each other with resentment and distance. It's family tradition."

Bonnie laughed, shaking her head. "I love you." She didn't actually realize she said it but Kai did as he stood there, shocked. She glanced up at him, confused. "What?"

Kai's brows furrowed, "did you say something to me?" He gestured to her, "umm, just now?" At Bonnie's puzzled expression, Kai felt like maybe he just heard it in his own head. A wishful thinking of sorts. "Nothing, never mind."

She walked towards the door, turning around to see Kai. He looked like he was trying to calculate a difficult math sum in his head, "coming?" He nodded slowly, smiled and followed her out. "Maybe you can be my hero and grab a sandwich before Caroline takes them all."

Kai nodded, playfully sombre. "I'll do my best but if I get my eyes scratched out, that's on you."

* * *

Bonnie stared at her phone as she paced around her room for the billionth time, holding a bottle of wine, taking swigs of liquid courage here and there. She's too much in a panic to get drunk though.

She picked up her house phone and took a deep breath, "okay you can do it. You got this." She dialled his phone number, it started to ring. "Oh god," no, she made a mistake.

She was too much in freak out mode, she didn't realize the beep of his voice mail had passed. The first couple of seconds had gone by and she knows if she hangs up now and Kai checks the voicemail, it's just her heavy breathing.

It would be really creepy and he has caller ID.

"Hi Kai, it's Bonnie." She cringed at her fake high pitch voice, she rubbed the back of her neck. "I, um, I just want to know if you want to get dinner the next time you're back," she rolled her eyes at her utter lameness.

She sighed and sat down on her couch, time to go for broke, "when you said what you said at Jo's wedding you were right. About me not having that much confidence in myself and with men and my dad...I watched my mom my entire life mourn his betrayal and instead of moving on and getting on with her own life like he did with his, she stayed the same. She stayed angry." She felt a little guilty saying these next words but it's the truth, "I don't want to be like my mom in that respect. I don't want to look back and think I fucked up by not taking chances with things...with people," she held her breath, "so that other thing you said at Jo's wedding, umm if you still love me. That would be great, umm I - **BEEP** \- damn!"

She dropped her phone and stared at her wall, pouting. "That was the worst voicemail of all time." She put her hands on her head, "oh god." She jumped when her phone started to ring. "No," she gasped. She stared at the ground, her phone on her sweater, she reached down and pressed the button, "hello?" she said timidly.

" _Bonnie_ ," Kai answered, a smile in his voice. " _That was an interesting voicemail_."

"You screened the call, you douche."

He chuckled, " _it was entertaining to hear you. I've never heard you so flustered, didn't know phones can do that to ya_." Bonnie pouted, "... _so about that dinner_?"

* * *

_**Wedding no. 4: Matt Donovan and Angelica Reyes** _

"Bonnie," she smiled into her pillow at sound of his voice, "wake up." She shook her head, "argh," she jumped and sat up. She touched her ear, "did you just bite my ear?"

"Just the lobe," she turned around at his voice, Kai was standing on her side with a cup of coffee, he checked his watched. "forty minutes Bonster." He placed the cup on her dresser drawer.

She frowned, looking at him up and down, "you're dressed." Her frown started to slowly disappear as she took him in. He was wearing black slacks and a plain white button down, sleeves rolled to the top. His hair was still wet from the obvious shower he took while she slept in. She wondered if her own look mirrored his own as he watched her checking him out.

Heat was there in both their eyes.

Before she can voice her slightly selfish question since Kai was already dressed and he looked _really_ good, he was already there. "We'll be late," Bonnie exclaimed uselessly as she tugged up his shirt greedily.

His hand was on her cheek as he kissed down her neck, "we'll make good time," he mumbled as he pushed up her long, baggy shirt. "God," He groaned when he realized she was wearing nothing underneath.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely," he breathed harshly, movements erratic now as he wrenched her shirt up and off her small frame impatiently. At the same time, Bonnie was trying to be careful by not ripping off any of his buttons since she was certain he only brought one good dress shirt as the other items of clothing in his suitcase seemed to only consist of eighties band tees. The carefulness was making her visibly stressed, she huffed.

He pulled away for a moment and yanked his shirt off, helping her out. She immediately ran her hands down his abs, revelling in the shiver it caused.

He panted as he watched her for a moment, mouth slightly open and his eyes black. He leaned forward and kissed her, a contrast to how he just was as he kept the kiss sweet for a moment, "I love you," he breathed against her lips before pulling away.

Bonnie smiled softly, the warmness erupting in her body every time he tells her that, "I love -oh yes," she moaned as he kissed down her stomach while roughly palming her breasts. She gripped his hair in anticipation. "What if we're late?" She shivered when she felt his breath at her core.

"Should have gotten up earlier then," he answered unsympathetically.

"But" She gasped when she felt his tongue. She arched her back and gripped his hair so tightly it must have been painful as he went down on her but he didn't let up, if anything it urged him on. "You're right," moaning when his fingers joined in, "my bad."

_1 hour later:_

"Yay, another wedding," Caroline said in a monotonous voice, smoothing down her orange dress that kept rising in the slight breeze, "haven't been to those in a while." She gasped, face lighting up as she suddenly pushed back Bonnie's hair, "Kai's enthusiastic," Caroline winked. "Naughty."

Bonnie cheeks heated up as she batted her friends hand away, "stop. We're in front of a church." She put her hair back and patted it down, "I thought I put enough concealer on it."

Caroline shrugged, "it's not that visible."

"You're sure?"

"Meh…"

Bonnie sighed.

Caroline waved at Elena, who was walking hand in hand with Stefan, he had his other hand carefully around her back, looking down angrily at the cobble stones. Elena looked like a pretty, pink concoction of floral patterns.

"Damn," Caroline whistled when the couple joined them, "look at that bump. It's gets bigger every time I see it."

"Thanks Caroline," Elena smiled uncertainly as Stefan looked back at the pathway, eyes narrowed.

"You okay there, Stefan?" Bonnie asked.

"Was it really necessary to have all those rocks there? People can trip over them."

"They're pebbles," Elena chuckled.

"They're a death sentence."

"Woah," Caroline said as she checked her phone, "have an inkling of what kind of father you're going to be."

They started to walk towards the entrance, Caroline held her phone up and took a picture of the door which was slightly covered over by a willow tree. When Bonnie looked at her questionably, "aesthetic," she shrugged.

Caroline gave Stefan a pointed look, "you should be at the back with the other groomsman. Go."

When Stefan looked unsure, giving torn looks at his pregnant wife. Elena rolled her eyes, "I got my girls, Stefan. Go." Stefan sighed, giving Elena a wounded expression before walking around the back of the church. "He's very paranoid lately."

"That's kinda sweet," Bonnie smiled as they walked past the threshold. They took their seats in the middle row at the same time Matt, Stefan, Kai, Tyler and a college friend walked out and stood by the alter. Heat rose at the back of her neck when she thought back to that morning. _Stop you're in a church,_ she thought as her eyes drifted to a couple of gold crosses.

"We have hot boyfriends," Caroline whispered randomly in her ear, "and a hot husband," Caroline added diplomatically when Elena frowned at being left out.

"Caroline, shut up." Bonnie said, looking around making sure nobody heard. She caught Kai's eyes and immediately grinned.

The music started and everyone stood. She felt Caroline's gaze as she darted her glances between herself and Kai who were probably staring at each other like horny, loopy idiots. A second later, she felt a nudge and Bonnie looked over at her friend. "Sadly, it looks like we're not getting married after all." Bonnie covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

The bride walked down the aisle with her bridesmaids trailing behind her, all looking elegant. Bonnie heard Elena 'aww' while stroking her stomach absently. Bonnie felt a little teary just then.

When everyone sat down and the priest was about to speak, a high-pitched scream erupted followed a pleading "please John, I'll buy you ice cream later. Just shut up." The screaming continued, even while the priest trudged on. The mother, red faced and embarrassed took the toddler outside eventually.

"See, that is why I never really liked kids." Caroline whispered, "no offence Elena," she added a second later when Elena frowned at her.

_Several hours later with a little bit of champagne in between:_

"Okay may all the couples join the bride and groom on the dance floor and boogie," The DJ crooned, having the time of his life as he swayed to Frank Sinatra.

"Come on," Caroline announced as she tried to drag Tyler away from the table, "I'm in a dancey mood." Bonnie watched Stefan already wordlessly take Elena's awaiting hand as they walked to the dance floor. Caroline was still trying to pull Tyler, "be a good boyfriend!" she gritted, "you're making a scene." Eventually he relented and Caroline looked incredibly smug at her win.

A couple of minutes later, Kai came by and placed a glass of rum and coke in front of her. He plonked down next to her, "wanna dance?"

"Can you dance?" Bonnie mused.

He nodded, "I think so." He held his hand out to her, "let's find out." Bonnie smiled, accepting his offer.

She rested her head against his shoulder when they joined every one else. "Wow, you are good," Bonnie looked up at him, impressed. She looked to the right to see Caroline perfectly content with dancing from side to side.

"When have I not been good at anything," his lips tilted downwards, "for real though?"

"Shush," she said, placing her head on his shoulder. She smiled, "I love you."

"Aww Bonnie," Kai tightened his hold on her, "thanks. That's awesome."

Bonnie just grunted as she closed her eyes, enjoying the crooning of 'Fly Me to the Moon,' wafting through hall.

* * *


End file.
